The Doug Ellingsworth Blog

Family

Everybody Is Homeschooled

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 11, 2020

Few things get folks riled up like the home school – public school – private school debate. Which one is best?

This is one subject about which people don’t just have an opinion, but they’ve wrapped their emotions all around their position and, eyes bulging and veins popping, they’re prepared to fight to the death.

But the truth?

We’ve all been homeschooled.

Yep, even you. Whether you’ve been a lifelong public school student, or you’ve got a diploma from an exclusive boarding school, you were homeschooled.

Family/Living

How Can A Loving God….

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 24, 2019

I can’t count the times that I’ve looked into the hurting, haunting eyes of a grieving friend asking that question. How could a loving God allow my baby to die? How could a loving God allow my child to get cancer? How could a loving God let my daddy feel so alone that he would take his own life?

Most of the time, about all I can do is silently share their pain because, while I have a few ideas I’ve gleaned from reading the Bible, I sometimes have a hard time understanding that, myself. Who can grasp why life deals so harshly with some of its kindest creatures? Who can speak for God? I try to help everyone as much as I can, but I’m fully aware that my presence is my greatest gift to them because I do not know the mind of God and cannot explain all that He does or allows.

But today, not being able to fully understand or explain God doesn’t trouble me as much as it did yesterday — because today I realize that I can’t even understand what people do.

Family/Living

Christmas Traditions And Family Mantles

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 2, 2019

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my wife’s father passed away a few months ago. This past Christmas was the family’s first one without him. He was not just a gentle old fellow who sat and observed life from the sidelines, but he was a strong and vocal spiritual leader who made sure his children and their children knew the right way to live.

Several years ago, he started a family worship service that began an hour or so after Christmas dinner. Sofas and tables were pushed against the walls, and folding chairs were set in the middle of the room. Grandpa Carl would open the service, then some of the grandkids would lead the family in a few worship songs. Next, Grandpa would asked who wanted prayer. The family would gather around and pray for each other. Finally, one of the men that Grandpa chose would end the service with a message.

Now, Grandpa and Grandma had eight children. All of them are married now and have grandchildren of their own, so there can easily be a congregation of one hundred gathered for these family worship times. Christmas 2018, about 80 folks crowded into Uncle Lynn’s and Aunt Debbie’s living room for the first Christmas service without Grandpa Carl. You can see the crowd gathering in the picture above.

Family

Carl Vinson (1924 – 2018)

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on October 7, 2018

I don’t know if you noticed, but around two o’clock this morning, the world got a little colder. Carl Vinson had been keeping his spot on Earth warm for the past 94 years, but in the wee hours of the morning, God decided it was time for him to rest.

If you knew Carl, you knew that he hated to be cold. That stemmed, no doubt, from spending the brutal winter of 1944 inside the metal hull of a US Army tank helping roust the Nazis out of the Ardennes. It wasn’t unusual, especially these last few winters, to find him wrapped in a blanket putting as much distance between him and that chilly Oklahoma wind as possible.

I can’t say much about whether or not Carl liked cold food because the cook he’s had for almost 70 years is still around and wouldn’t hesitate to let me know if I got any of that wrong. But I know that Carl didn’t like to be cold.

Leadership/Ministry

Timothy A. Dugas (1949-2018)

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on September 11, 2018

I was born a dozen miles up the San Joaquin Valley from the Bible college where Tim Dugas’ dad, Paul, taught for several years, so the various names of the Dugas clan have been familiar for as long as I can remember. My father and grandfather both held the Dugas brothers, Paul and Phillip, in high regard, so I grew up with a generous dose of respect for the whole bunch. I guess that’s why I felt a little proud and important in July of 1980 when Tim Dugas spent a couple of hours on the sweltering Oklahoma District Campground telling me all the reasons why I needed to go to Christian Life College. He’d recently returned to Stockton himself, and, following in his father’s footsteps, was now part of the teaching and leadership team. A few weeks later, I loaded my clothes and my new stereo into my white diesel pickup, and headed west to claim all that Brother Dugas had promised was waiting for me.

He was working in the print shop when I arrived a week before classes were to start. He walked to the dorm with me and showed me all my options: lots of small, barren rooms with bunk beds crammed inside, and a common shower room conveniently located right in the middle – whose showers I would soon discover worked better than the drains. He didn’t tell me which room to choose, but he did lead me to a larger room at the very end of the hall and said, “If I was moving in, here’s where I’d stay.” I took his gentle “hint.” He walked back to the print shop, and I transferred all the boxes from the white pickup truck to that big room at the end of the hall.

Family

When My Dad Dies

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on September 4, 2018

It’s a little presumptuous for me to even write this post. My dad was born in 1934, twenty-five years before me, but I am the one who had the heart attack and who has to take medicine for high blood pressure. Not him. He is pushing through his mid-eighties, mowing his yard and remodeling anything he can get his hands on, with all his vitals showing perfect. So, he may be preaching my funeral instead of me helping my sisters plan his. But watching the funeral and memorial services for a famous American father who died last week got me to thinking about how my dad’s memorial service would contrast with this fellow’s — if I’m privileged to be there for my dad at the end of his life.

Family

God Help Our Daughters!

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on March 30, 2018

Some days, I get downright angry at what our culture is doing to our daughters. On all the other days, it makes me flat out mad!

From birth, we teach our girls to look for their flaws. Broad noses and sunken eyes must be masked with cosmetics. White skin has to be tanned. Dark hair has to be bleached. Light hair needs to be darkened. Every little blemish must be covered.

By the time she is grown, your daughter will be spending two weeks out of every year putting on her makeup. During her lifetime, she will spend more than three years and $300,000 covering the “flaws” in the face that God and nature gave her.

Uncategorized

Your Church Crisis Plan

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on May 16, 2017

A pastor’s worst nightmare occurred just a few weeks ago on a rural Texas highway when a pickup truck slammed into a small church bus loaded with senior citizens. Thirteen people died – including the bus driver.

One moment, a fun church outing. The next, a church in crisis.

How does a church minister to thirteen grieving families at the same time? It would be difficult enough if the dead and the hurting were all strangers, but these were all family and friends who lived and worked and worshipped together. How do you grieve the loss of your dear friends, while trying to be strong and minister to their families?

And for the bus driver’s four children, their loss was compounded by the sudden death of their mother just a few days later.

This church and city are suffering tremendous loss, and continue to need the prayers of every believer.

Leadership/Living

Christian Essentials, Part One

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on March 7, 2017

Why does the faith of so many Christians waver? Why does their commitment run hot and cold?

A little of the blame rests on us preachers. For the past thirty years, we have feverishly responded to every person’s criticism of the church. Every time someone said they thought we were ugly, we smeared on more eye shadow hoping that would make them like us.

People said they didn’t like coming to churches that looked like churches so we built buildings that look like hotel lobbies attached to warehouses.

They said our sermons were too demanding and the preacher sounded angry, so we got rid of the pulpit and bought a three-legged stool and an iPad so we could just sit and talk about relevant stuff on Sundays.

Leadership/Writing

Ten Notes For Communicators

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on February 22, 2017

Decide whether you want to deliver a speech or motivate your audience to take action. The two are not the same. You’ve got to choose one or the other. The first one is fairly easy to prepare for. The second? Not so much. It requires viewing life through another’s eyes, feeling their hurts, anticipating their struggles, and showing them the way out.
Talking and communicating are not synonymous. Just because you said it doesn’t mean everybody else got it. Too often, communicators build speeches that they like the sound of instead of preparing a message that appeals to the audience they will be addressing.
To communicate well, you must genuinely like people. Arrogance and snobbiness always bleed through.
Nobody cares what you think. Unless they’re part of a punchy comedy routine, your opinions get mighty tiresome after about thirty seconds. Give folks facts and principles they can apply and improve their lives. Be able to document everything you say. If you can’t prove it’s accurate, trash it.
Don’t wax eloquent on subjects you don’t know well. In one of my first sermons, I elaborated on the messiness of animal sacrifices and how the sheep must have reacted when the priests prepared them for the altar. After the service, I shook hands with an old man who looked me in the eye and said, “You don’t know much about sheep, do you?” That’s all he said, but that’s all it took. When you don’t know all the details, I recommend underselling.
Don’t milk another man’s cow. A few weeks ago, a bunch of us were listening to a preacher online. Midway through his sermon, my son opened YouTube and played a clip of a popular comedian. He and the preacher were telling the same stories. The same illustrations told in exactly the same way. The kids listening loved the comedian. The preacher became part of the joke. He still is.
Perception is reality. Your audience isn’t going to leave talking about what you said; they are going to go home talking about what they heard. Lessons on child training, for example, can sound like mocking ridicule to parents of wayward children. Presentation is just as important as content.
Don’t blame the audience for not getting your point. It’s your job to paint the picture for them. If there is a disconnect, it’s probably your fault.
Don’t talk down to your audience. Treat them like they are adults who have a healthy dose of good sense. Find common ground. Build a bridge. Make a connection. You don’t get bigger by making those around you smaller.
Be confident, but don’t be a jerk. If you have to keep reminding your audience of how tough and cool you are, well, you probably aren’t very tough or cool. Give it a rest. If you are tough, they will see it without you having to show them. If you aren’t, they will see right through all your posturing. Make it about them and not about you.