Family – The Doug Ellingsworth Blog

Let’s Not Talk About This…

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on April 14, 2020

During this coronavirus pandemic, let’s talk about washing our hands and not touching our faces. Let’s talk about toilet paper and face masks and latex gloves. Let’s talk about who’s essential and who’s not.

Let’s watch experts lecture us about social distancing while they’re packed shoulder to shoulder in front of the tv cameras. Let’s watch endless press conferences where the same experts contradict what they said last month.

Let’s debate infection projections and recovery rates. Let’s debate pharmaceutical effectiveness and ventilator pressure. Let’s debate to-go liquor sales and drive-in churches.

But there are a few things that nobody wants to talk about. Bring up one of those subjects and the room gets awfully quiet, and folks start looking for that carry-out liquor. Since I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable, I won’t say anything. But I will take a moment or two and write about a couple of them.

Family

Everybody Is Homeschooled

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 11, 2020

Few things get folks riled up like the home school – public school – private school debate. Which one is best?

This is one subject about which people don’t just have an opinion, but they’ve wrapped their emotions all around their position and, eyes bulging and veins popping, they’re prepared to fight to the death.

But the truth?

We’ve all been homeschooled.

Yep, even you. Whether you’ve been a lifelong public school student, or you’ve got a diploma from an exclusive boarding school, you were homeschooled.

Family/Living

How Can A Loving God….

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 24, 2019

I can’t count the times that I’ve looked into the hurting, haunting eyes of a grieving friend asking that question. How could a loving God allow my baby to die? How could a loving God allow my child to get cancer? How could a loving God let my daddy feel so alone that he would take his own life?

Most of the time, about all I can do is silently share their pain because, while I have a few ideas I’ve gleaned from reading the Bible, I sometimes have a hard time understanding that, myself. Who can grasp why life deals so harshly with some of its kindest creatures? Who can speak for God? I try to help everyone as much as I can, but I’m fully aware that my presence is my greatest gift to them because I do not know the mind of God and cannot explain all that He does or allows.

But today, not being able to fully understand or explain God doesn’t trouble me as much as it did yesterday — because today I realize that I can’t even understand what people do.

Family/Living

Christmas Traditions And Family Mantles

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 2, 2019

As I mentioned in an earlier post, my wife’s father passed away a few months ago. This past Christmas was the family’s first one without him. He was not just a gentle old fellow who sat and observed life from the sidelines, but he was a strong and vocal spiritual leader who made sure his children and their children knew the right way to live.

Several years ago, he started a family worship service that began an hour or so after Christmas dinner. Sofas and tables were pushed against the walls, and folding chairs were set in the middle of the room. Grandpa Carl would open the service, then some of the grandkids would lead the family in a few worship songs. Next, Grandpa would asked who wanted prayer. The family would gather around and pray for each other. Finally, one of the men that Grandpa chose would end the service with a message.

Now, Grandpa and Grandma had eight children. All of them are married now and have grandchildren of their own, so there can easily be a congregation of one hundred gathered for these family worship times. Christmas 2018, about 80 folks crowded into Uncle Lynn’s and Aunt Debbie’s living room for the first Christmas service without Grandpa Carl. You can see the crowd gathering in the picture above.

Family

Carl Vinson (1924 – 2018)

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on October 7, 2018

I don’t know if you noticed, but around two o’clock this morning, the world got a little colder. Carl Vinson had been keeping his spot on Earth warm for the past 94 years, but in the wee hours of the morning, God decided it was time for him to rest.

If you knew Carl, you knew that he hated to be cold. That stemmed, no doubt, from spending the brutal winter of 1944 inside the metal hull of a US Army tank helping roust the Nazis out of the Ardennes. It wasn’t unusual, especially these last few winters, to find him wrapped in a blanket putting as much distance between him and that chilly Oklahoma wind as possible.

I can’t say much about whether or not Carl liked cold food because the cook he’s had for almost 70 years is still around and wouldn’t hesitate to let me know if I got any of that wrong. But I know that Carl didn’t like to be cold.

Family

When My Dad Dies

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on September 4, 2018

It’s a little presumptuous for me to even write this post. My dad was born in 1934, twenty-five years before me, but I am the one who had the heart attack and who has to take medicine for high blood pressure. Not him. He is pushing through his mid-eighties, mowing his yard and remodeling anything he can get his hands on, with all his vitals showing perfect. So, he may be preaching my funeral instead of me helping my sisters plan his. But watching the funeral and memorial services for a famous American father who died last week got me to thinking about how my dad’s memorial service would contrast with this fellow’s — if I’m privileged to be there for my dad at the end of his life.

Family

God Help Our Daughters!

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on March 30, 2018

Some days, I get downright angry at what our culture is doing to our daughters. On all the other days, it makes me flat out mad!

From birth, we teach our girls to look for their flaws. Broad noses and sunken eyes must be masked with cosmetics. White skin has to be tanned. Dark hair has to be bleached. Light hair needs to be darkened. Every little blemish must be covered.

By the time she is grown, your daughter will be spending two weeks out of every year putting on her makeup. During her lifetime, she will spend more than three years and $300,000 covering the “flaws” in the face that God and nature gave her.

Family/Leadership

First Things First!

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on January 23, 2017

So, what went wrong in the Garden of Eden? Eve ate the fruit from the forbidden tree and ruined it for the rest of us, right?

Well, sorta but not exactly.

Read Genesis chapter one and you will see that, before God ever created Man, He designed him to be in charge. Your grandmother’s King James Bible called it taking dominion. Adam was to be the keeper of the garden. He was the boss of all the animals. Keep reading in Genesis and you will see that God even gave Adam the job of naming each animal.

God wanted Adam to know that he, Adam, was in charge of what went on in the garden.

Family/Leadership

Leadership At Christmas

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on December 27, 2016

face-skeptical-1527130-1279x878 Christmas thoughts are usually more about egg nog and reindeer than leadership, but my mind spun in a different direction today. Although the subject may not be be mentioned in any carols of the season, it does fit because it’s about life’s priorities and our attention to them.

How is it that we stress leadership development, but never develop as leaders?

Most leadership programs emphasize identifying your essential values: those things which give meaning to your life and work. Nearly every time, family and relationships come out among the top three or four values leaders identify.

Many companies pride themselves on being family-oriented. They boast of taking care of their own, of creating a work environment that enhances growth and openness and honesty.

Family

Being The Parent Your Child Deserves

by Doug Ellingsworth @https://twitter.com/DEllingsworth on August 18, 2016

Nothing is more important than our children, so it makes sense that nothing ignites a good argument quite like a discussion on parenting methods.

I heard a psychologist say that parents shouldn’t try to make their children be like them. She thought it better to just let the kids become themselves. That sounds good, but nature and biology disagree and they had a pretty good head start. By the time the child is walking and talking and able to obey simple commands, he’s already developed some of dad’s mannerisms — and there are a bunch more stirring around in that gene pool waiting for their turn to shine.

I think the expert meant well and was encouraging parents to nurture each child’s individuality, but her presentation was a bit vague and too broad. But if that was indeed her intended message, she was right. Each child is one-of-a-kind and should be guided and appreciated for who they are.

Category: Family