If you want to become an expert in human biology, I’m not the guy you need to talk to, but an oversimplified explanation of what determines the gender of a baby is the presence or absence of a Y chromosome in that tiny human. If the Y is present, paint the nursery blue. If there is no Y, buy pink blankets.
Because it is this “small” difference that separates the boys from the girls, some folks think that there is very little difference between the males and females of the human race. We are told that society and culture, with our stereotypes and traditional expectations, force girls to like baby dolls and frilly clothes. Remove those, some say, and the differences between boys and girls will go away.
I’ve already told you I’m no expert on these matters, but I’ve lived long enough to know that the difference between male and female runs a whole lot deeper than that. While both sexes experience life through our emotions, we project and deal with them differently. While our desires and ambitions run along the same course (we both want companionship, desire success, that sort of thing), we think and go about it differently.
God made woman to compliment the male. He made her after He saw what Adam was missing. Regardless of what societal structure you design for them, men and women are going to think and behave differently. Doctors and surgeons can help you modify your body, but you can’t change those invisible intangibles that make women women and men men.
Because women tend to express their emotions more openly then men, and since the only difference between men and women is that one little chromosome, men are often encouraged to get in touch with their feminine side.
Well, I’ve got news for you. Men don’t have a feminine side. Men are men and women are women. God built the difference into our souls and natures. My wife has a better sense of direction than I do, but she still thinks like a woman. My daughter can shoot a pistol more accurately than I, but her worldview is much different than mine or her brother’s.
I am not arguing against the obvious. I understand that some trait of the opposite sex is present in each of us. Facial hair, for instance, is usually a male thing, but some women have more than others. This is a “being human” thing: not a gender flaw. But we’ve developed false expectations. The magazines and movies say women’s bodies should be perfect. So we’ve taught our daughters that these natural consequences of being human are shameful, so what can’t be plucked has to be painted over, while the guys are fine the way they were delivered. Girls use cosmetics to mask their flaws, while guys build walls to hide their emotions so they can ignore theirs. Neither accomplish their desired result.
We wind up with this notion that certain emotions or bodily traits belong exclusively to one sex or the other. That makes us insecure and judgmental. The fact is God made Man in His image. Inside that family of Man reside both Males and Females. Our bodies are made out of the same stuff, and every boy and girl will be somewhat dissatisfied with theirs. Again, this is a human condition that is common to us all, and should not make us anxious or insecure.
Try as he may, a male can never take the place of a mom. A woman will never be able to be a dad. Life may force them to assume the tasks of a dad or mom, but frustration is inevitable if they attempt to assume the role. Write what you want on the marriage license and birth certificate, but you might as well try to housebreak a hippopotamus. What God has created on the inside of a thing is impossible for us to change.
So, why this little rant? Because while it is a waste of time to encourage men to be more comfortable with their feminine side, if men are going to transmit values and truths to the next generation, they must understand how their own emotions work and not be afraid to let things function as God intended.
So hang on to that thought. We will pick it up there next time.